不找舊情人
舊情人不必追，不要保持聯絡，不要做回好朋友。
女人會相信男女之間的確有友情的存在，而通常分手後會提出做回好朋友，也是女人。但男女沒有友情，誰會相信一個男人常常約一個女人，吐苦水說自己的工作很難幹，女朋友不理解他而對她沒有一點好感。你只能夠和有好感的異性交朋友，問題只是能否多得成為男女朋友，但即使不能成為一對，也不代表沒有好感。這是《90男歡女愛》中，哈利的觀點。
當男人不能在那刻追女人，他們就會和她們做好朋友。就像當男人不能勝過女人時，就會尊重女人起來。
「我相信男女間有友情的，我總不明白也不相信男女間沒有友情。她們很理解我的感受也能給我安慰，比男人更明白我。」她覺得和你在一起很舒服，不用擔心你只是要和她上床，願意慢慢的理解和聆聽。這就是瓦解防禦的第一步了。
然後他慢慢表示好感，向她表示愛意。可是當她成為你女朋友時，你跟別的女人外出去談心聊天，她卻又會堅決不相信。總是那麼的矛盾，有多少個會不介意。所以男女間，我認為朋友只是一個掩飾。分手之後做朋友，是碎了一地的水晶，想嘗試撿回幾片說服自己失去了，可還是有些東西留下來。
我不認為男女有友情，更加不要說做回朋友。因為車子已經在懸崖邊，不是情人，就是傷痕。
對女人來說，有多幾個男人在身邊和自己談心聊天，除自己男朋友外有多幾個男顏知己是好的。女人喜歡被人愛被人疼，是愛上了他又總不能用解釋和坦白把背包拋給對方，所以才要找一些和他是相同種類的動物和分析了解。同時間給幾個男人關心，在霧中的花香與露水是難得的奢侈，何不好好珍惜。
男人卻總不能做一個裙下之臣，會抹殺了一個男人應有的骨氣。理智一點，世界上女人只有兩種，能追的和不能追的。要是你不能夠追，就名義上和她做朋友，或是斷了聯絡算了。要知道，一個男人的核心價值在於自信而不傲慢。她不接受，是她的損失不是你的，做男人不能渴求女人憐憫你才和你一起，或是跟一個對你而言有吸引力的女人繼續下去而心知沒有結果。
不是不見面，但我認為應該讓他或她成為一種內疚和後悔，多年後才約出來見一面，好像JohnWalters寫的那篇《初戀》：
Then, recently, after an interval of more than 40 years, I heard from Rachel again. Her husband had died. She was passing through town and had learned of my whereabouts through a mutual friend. We agreed to meet.
I felt both curious and excited. In the last few years, I hadn’t thought about her, and her sudden call one morning had taken me aback. The actual sight of her was a shock. This white-haired matron at1the restaurant table was the Rachel of my dreams and desires, the supple mermaid of that snapshot?
Yet time had given us a common reference and respect. We talked as old friends, and quickly discovered we were both grandparents.
“Do you remember this?’ She handed me a slip of worn paper. It was a poem I’d written her while still in school. I examined the crude meter and pallid rhymes. Watching my face, she snatched the poem from me and returned it to her purse, as though fearful I was going to destroy it.
I told her about the snapshot, how I’d carried it all though the war.
“It wouldn’t have worked out, you know,” she said.
“How can you be sure?” I countered. “Ah, colleen, it might have been grand indeed-my Irish conscience and your Jewish guilt!”
Our laughter startled people at a nearby table. During the time left to us, our glances were furtive, oblique. I think that what we saw in each other repudiated what we’d once been to ourselves, we immortals.
Before I put her into a taxi, she turned to me. “I just wanted to see you once more. To tell you something.” Her eyes met mine. “I wanted to thank you for having loved me as you did.” We kissed, and she left.
Form a store window my reflection stared back at me, an aging man with gray hair stirred by an evening breeze. I decided to walk home. Her kiss still burned on my lips. I felt faint, and sat on a park bench. All around trees and me the grass were shining in the surreal glow of sunset. Something was being lifted out of me. Something had been completed, and the scene before me was so beautiful that I wanted to shout and dance and sing for joy.
That soon passed, as everything must, and presently I was able to stand and start for home.
男人一生中應該欠下幾個女人，這樣的過去才能釀出比較有深度和真實的愛情。感情不能繼續，就斷去不留餘地。但會繼續寫些東西卻又去逃避她，聽上去郁達夫，很矛盾，實際上卻又非常重要。
對前度，我覺得要對像宗教的一樣。我不認為可以做回朋友。事實上，這並不重要，但是對前度的後悔來內疚卻使我不斷的成長和成熟。要是我和她之後很虛假的說服自己能夠做回朋友，然後不斷的又和她晚晚談心聊天，我的稜角會被磨滅得難以辨認。我被迫接受一個我不願意的事實，然後不斷對自己撒謊。我現在的確還思念著她，可是我有太多的事要忙，而且總不能放棄其他女孩而只等她一個。事實上，只要你用心的愛，愛誰你都會幸福，何需介意。
所以，我情願擬出我的想象，雖然她不怪我，我仍要感覺後悔。我不要和她做回朋友，亦無需做敵人。但我選擇不見她，我利用自己的後悔和內疚洗淨自己。利用自己的多餘的情感，提醒自己的過失。然後待上幾年後才去找她，這樣會比較好。到了那時，人成熟了，還說不定。
所以我不會跟前度做朋友，就只有做回情人或是親切的陌生人，儘管這兩個字也只可能是代名詞。
有些人說我浪漫，但為浪漫而浪漫本身毫無用處，我只是利用浪漫，這點我非常務實。